What is it?

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider five to ten minutes of penetration too little time. How long a man can last is not an essential factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man is satisfied with the length of intercourse.

How is premature ejaculation caused?

Most men have experienced this problem at some point in their lives. Premature ejaculation was once thought to be caused by drugs or certain infections such as urethritis, but we now know that it is more psychological. The exact cause of the condition, however, is still not known.

1- Early Sexual Experiences:

Some men have had early sexual experiences that required sex to be over quickly (such as masturbating rapidly to avoid getting caught by parents, having sex in a car, etc) that persist. The majority of men gradually learn to control their orgasms and have no lasting effect.

2- Performance anxiety:

Some men will develop a longer-term anxiety toward sex, which can cause a prolonged experience with premature ejaculation. This is anxiety that is activated in sexual situations, creating a vicious cycle of performance pressures. Frequently, this pattern is seen in new relationships.

3- Missing internal cues:

Researchers interviewed men who could last a long time sexually to discover their secrets. Unlike premature ejaculators, these men were better able to identify the point where ejaculation cannot be stopped and take corrective action before that point is reached.

4- Low Arousal Levels or Low Sex Desire:

The sexual response can be seen as proceeding through three levels: Desire, Arousal, and Orgasm. With premature ejaculation, sometimes the real problem is insufficient sexual desire to start with – or – lack of actual arousal. Believe it or not, a man can have a decent erection without 100% sexual desire and even without full arousal. If this is the case, the premature ejaculator needs to be turned on more -not less- to allow him more control over his ejaculations.

Sexual behaviour is also a factor. The longer the period since last ejaculating, the quicker young men typically reach orgasm. Younger men tend to ejaculate more quickly than older men, as experience seems to be associated with ejaculatory control.

What can I do to delay ejaculation?

The best way to fight premature ejaculation is by learning how to identify and control the sensations leading up to orgasm.

Masters and Johnson Method The Masters and Johnson method does just that. This method requires much patience and practice but is very effective. Follow the steps below.

The best way to practice this method is with a caring lover, although you may want to start with masturbation. With your partner, engage in stimulation other than penetration (like masturbation or oral sex) and gradually allow yourself to reach that point just before ejaculation. At that point, signal your partner to stop and allow yourself to lose your erection partially. Allow yourself to relax before starting again. Each time you do this, bring yourself closer and closer to orgasm until you cannot control it any longer. Repeat these steps several times to get the hang of it. Doing this several times on different occasions will help you learn where your point of climax is. You should practice these steps for several days before you attempt intercourse. Once you are ready to try intercourse, lie on your back and direct your partner to allow you to penetrate slowly. As soon as you feel that you are about to climax, signal to your partner to stop stimulating you. Relax for a bit, and then begin again. You should soon be able to control your ejaculation and enjoy having sex. Although the method is highly effective, it could take weeks to get it right. Remember, be patient and try not to put too much pressure on the situation. If you don’t get it the first time, shrug it off and remember that you are working towards something that takes time.

Squeeze technique The squeeze technique is just a variation of the Masters and Johnson method, except that the assisting partner squeezes the tip or base of the penis just before the point of climax to cancel the orgasm essentially. The “squeeze” forces blood out of the penis and reduces the erection. You may want to use the squeeze technique if the Masters and Johnson method is not working.

Other techniques Desensitizing creams are products which purport to lessen the sensations felt by men during intercourse so that they can last longer. The limitation that many men think these creams have is that they make intercourse less pleasurable by decreasing stimulation. Masturbation – Young men often use this to increase their level of control. Some people think that masturbation before sexual intercourse will increase the amount of time a man can then last during intercourse. However, this technique is not very effective. Condoms – These are an effective means of reducing the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Some men find that a condom helps them prevent premature ejaculation by decreasing sensations. If one condom does not decrease the stimulation enough, then put on one more. Condoms provide excellent protection against Sexually Transmitted Diseases and pregnancy, so they’re certainly worth a try. Sexual positions – Can affect a man’s ability to control his ejaculation. The typical “missionary” position (man on top of his partner) is not the best while attempting to control ejaculation. Try lying on your back, allowing the partner to prevent penetration. In this position, you are more relaxed and can guide your partner easily. Change of thrusting – You can do this by slowing the tempo of thrusting and by changing the angle or depth of penile penetration.

Certain positions may allow you to last longer. Mental work – It can be helpful for men to learn to focus more on the non-genital aspects of the sexual experience and to feel pleasure in other parts of the body. Some men claim that concentrating their thoughts on something mundane, like football scores or a math problem, helps them reduce their sensation and hold out longer. Medication – This can sometimes be helpful. A recent study showed that Priligy was beneficial in premature ejaculation in a high percentage of cases, as was a similar anti-depressant called Sertraline. There is also a drug called Priligy that may be beneficial. These medications are available only after assessment by a specialist.

Impotence Association A charitable organization set up in 1995 to help sufferers of erectile dysfunction and their partners.